the Wise Robin

a girl and her dog

11/365

 

 

 

peek-a-boo

11/365

 

 

 

click click

10/365

 

 

i gifted zahra one of my old cameras for christmas. what a treat seeing the world through her eyes. 

 

 

lil' book worm

10/365

 

 

both my girls love books. when zahra was a wee one and the house seemed a little too quiet, you know the kind of quiet where kids are usually up to something? i would find her at the bookshelf surrounded by a pile of books. at first it was simply pulling them off the shelf, this moved on to flipping pages, then looking at pictures upside down, reading back cover to front, asking for story after story, then independent reading and now, well, when the house is quiet and i can't find her, guaranteed she'll be curled up somewhere cosy, reading.

this little miss is in the unpacking phase. laundry, pots and pans, knitting baskets, dishwashers and of course books. she too loves turning pages, usually back to front, and insists on doing it herself and her way. with a mama and a sister that both love reading i can't help but wonder and hope whether niamh too will fall in love with the magic that you can find in a good book.

 

 

sister

9/365

 

 

there's nothing i wish for more, with all of my heart for these two girls, something i know zahra struggles with after having her mama and her own space for so long. it's that they connect and love, find comfort in and feel belonging to each other. 

 

little flower

9/365

 

 

one of the coolest things about being a parent is being witness to the wonder that little people find each and every day  in their surroundings. the little things, that over time and as an adult are easy to forget or take for granted.  birds flying overhead at dusk, the feeling of different textures beneath fingertips, rain falling from above, butterflies floating past, grass and bugs and weed flowers. when i watch her see, feel, smell, taste and hear these little things, i have to remind myself that she is experiencing it for the first time, and that is a wondrous thing to behold. i begin to marvel too and the world becomes new and fresh and exciting and just so...so...so...darn amazing.

 

eight days in

8/365

 

 

only eight days into this project and already i'm cheating. my girl was up and gone this morning before i had time to grab my camera and snap a moment of her morning. she returned late and tired after a busy day of play. i felt it was too much to stick a camera where it's mostly not wanted these days. so here's one i prepared earlier. taken last week doing one of her favourite things.

 

 

upright

8/365

 

 

since the day she was born this little person has wanted to be a part of everything, every waking hour. she is  one busy little bee. i have the feeling that being upright and walking means this busy bee will simply be... well,  more busy.

 

 

daydreamer

7/365

 

 

my daydreamer. i'm always catching glimpses of her singing away to herself, the fairies, the chooks, the wind, her reflection in the mirror. my possum, don't ever stop dreaming.

 

 

stairs

7/365

 

 

i remember when zahra was a crawler we would spend hours at our local library just hanging out on the stairway. up and down, down and up. niamh has just discovered the joy of stairs.

 

 

frustration

6/365

 

 

my girl is having a few frustrations, namely a baby sister who has found her way into a certain bedroom & who likes to use long hair as rope, taking on a little responsibility around the house, being dragged away from her neighbourhood friends to go get sushi again and a mama who says no to watching that fairy movie that you've watched every day for the past week and a half.

i have frustrations too, namely a certain camera that just can't seem to do what i ask of it and which renders skin tones an ugly 'i'm just about to vomit' kind of colour. i'm dreaming of this.

 

 

busy bee

6/365

 

 

afternoon sunshine

always on the lookout for the next thing

 

 

 

 

 

believe

5/365

 

 

 a garden fairy tee-pee. between mains and dessert we all attended the grand opening. i love that you believe in magic.

 

 

dimples

5/365

 

 

there is nothing sweeter than your kissable dimples

i feel embarassed when i say out loud that it is nine months down the track & i am only just beginning to really enjoy our nevie noo. i fell in love with her the moment i knew she was growing in my belly, but it is this past month that i am falling, deeper & harder for this little person.

we had a bumpy start. our first three months together, were for the most part, filled with hour after hour of screaming. no sleep, just endless screaming. and there was i, as the mama of this tiny soul, her so called protector & comforter, at a loss. nothing i tried would calm my baby girl. we tried slings of all sorts, baby hammocks, prams, co-sleeping, cots, moses baskets, swaddling, not swaddling, demand feeding, timed feeds, walking, pacing, rocking, swaying, singing, reading, different laundry detergents, my diet, sleep school, no sleep, car rides, you name it we tried it. i remember standing in the maternity store looking at one of those swaddle sleep sack things when i was pregnant thinking, gosh the things they invent these days, who would buy such a thing. we now have two of them. i was at a loss and willing to spend any amount of money to get my child to stop crying and get some sleep. in the end it was a retired midwife that whispered in my ear that she thought my baby had reflux.  i have no words for the relief i felt in that moment. it was during our first night together as a family of four, niamh not even twenty four hours old, i had said to william, "i think niamh has reflux". the visiting midwives all told me that my baby couldn't possibly have reflux & it was too early on to tell anyway. well, lesson learnt as they say. always follow your mama instinct & don't wait for permission from a professional. if only i had listened to that quiet voice within me we would all have been spared months of nail biting, cranky words, massive sleep deprivation & dark moments of wanting to pack this sweet pea away in the cupboard. most importantly, niamh would have been spared those endless days of pain. it's easy to look back now without remembering those dark moments. just one of those little chemical reactions that goes on in a mother's brain after giving birth so that we'll all saddle up again i suppose.  i learnt a lot about being a mama & a better parent in those months. i still am. i thought i had it all sussed you know, already having had a baby and parenting alone for so long. it's just when you get a bit cocky that the universe throws you a curve ball. i learnt that we are incredibly blessed. blessed that it was only reflux that was going on in her little body. for that i can now say i am incredibly grateful. i learnt that no matter how much i love doing things my way,  that sometimes i just have to let my tenacious grip go and roll with western medicine, giving up our bedroom, having niamh in a cot and not in bed snuggled next to us, like i did for all those years with zahra, & packing away that sling i dreamt of carrying my little in for all those months of pregnancy. i'm still learning to listen to my quiet voice of instinct. i know that someday it will roar without hesitation. but by far the biggest thing i learnt was to hold my screaming girl in my arms and just be with her. without trying to fix anything. without any intention, other than to just hold her and be  with her. it's easy to forget to just be some days amid all the laundry, meal prep, shopping, taxiing, nappy changes, feeding, settling, playing, bathing...all that is parenting. so now that we seem to have reached a space where things have evened out a little, i am like to think that i'm well practised at just being with my girl and taking in all that she is, noticing all the small things about her. i can now say that i kiss every dimpled finger and curly toe whenever  i'm not being pushed away in favour of exploring the dog's water bowl or the electrical cables i never seem to hide well enough. 

 

note to universe,  that's not me being cocky about being well pracitsed in zen like mindfulness

 

my monkey

4/365

 

 

up a tree is where she's happiest, or bamboo in this case.

 

 

delicious

4/365

 

 

 

the deliciousness of a fat, nappied baby bottom, curly pink toes, thigh chub and peach fuzz hair.

 

 

toothie pegs

3/365

 

 

ma puce  with your not so tiny new teeth that are oh so sharp.  it's a trick to catch you facing the camera, turning away as soon as you see it. this is a rare full frontal yoghurty moment. you're on the move always.  my sweet niamh, you kiss me with a wet open mouth before i put you to bed and wake in the morning with a tuft of fuzzy bed hair, always smiling to be awake and ready to get on with things. 

 

bee sting

3/365

 

 

today you were stung by a bee. you were very brave & more worried about the poor bee that was going to die. nothing a little kiss, some cool water, a band aid, apis & a touch of harmonica couldn't fix.  after all these years you still love watching your tears in the mirror.

some days i don't know what i'd do without your help sweet girl. whenever i ask for a hand, you are there, joyfully offering me yours. strangers always comment on what a beautiful girl you are. they are right. your soul is gentle & caring. you teach me so much about walking this journey gracefully. you are so loved.

 

purrty dress

 2/365

 

 

it makes my heart sing to see you in all the pretty things i kept from zahra's baby days. not only do i get to see your sweet chub in cute dresses but i am flooded with happy memories of me and my girl seven years ago. this one is my very favourite, made by a friend from recycled fabrics.

 

 

 

lil' dancer

 2/365

 

 

my dancing girl, first thing this morning in the kitchen. a little sixties rat pack and a step stool for a stage. my baby girl wants to give up her dance classes this year. i'm trying not to make a big deal of it, just staying cool. but i can see how much she loves it, coming home after class wrapped to the back teeth, humming a tune, spinning around the house. it's tricky riding that line between a gentle nudge and an overbearing shove. 

 

 

 

being nine months

 1/365

 

 

Some serious teething action going on.  I could just gobble her up.

 

 

being eight

 1/365

 

 

M ~ "So I'm starting this really cool project today where I document you and Niamh every day for a year"

Z ~ "Arghh, Mama, I don't want to be in it"

M ~ " Are you sure? I guess I'll just have to photograph Niamh all day every day for the rest of the year"

Z ~ " It's ok, I'll be in it, you can take my photo, what do you want me to do"

 

I may have been a bit cheeky getting my baby girl to comply. There may be 7 years and 6 months difference between my girls but they are truly sisters, both wanting their Mama's attention.

This sweet girl of mine is happiest outdoors climbing trees, building fairy houses or jumping in the yard.