me 12 years ago
This past week I have spotted not one, but three red breasted robins. Auspicious? Maybe. Motivating? Definitely. There's been a little something that I keep pondering yet putting aside for 'the right time'. Immediately that little voice in my head says 'there is no such thing as the right time, you are in the now, live in the moment". And so perhaps it is the perfectionist in me that has delayed until this moment or perhaps it is because I don't have the answers. The answers I'm talking about are not just details but intricate parts of myself, my authentic self, that I haven't been able to put my finger on...not just yet anyway. These details and intricacies are meant to give you out there some sort of idea about me. And so I've been pondering on what to write, what this space means to me, what details of myself you might want to know. I've looked at other bloggers 'About Me' pages to gather ideas and have been met and hugely inspired by beautiful words, quick wit and like minded thoughts. So this is my attempt to tell you all about me. Here goes.
Important point one...the name the Wise Robin came about late one night while I was pondering that 'something more' I've been searching for, for oh...quite some time. I have almost three university degrees and other pieces of paper to numerous to count that attest to this searching. And while I don't feel that the knowledge I've gained along the way is a waste by any means, I believe it is a piece of the puzzle to the greater whole that is me, that something more, that I've been searching for. This searching led me to a book in an op-shop. Now before we go on here's a detail about me. I just love, love, love books, can't get enough of them. The feel of fresh pages, the smell of print on paper, font, images, design, ideas,the gentle crackling noise that you hear when you are the first person to open the cover... I could go on.
This book is called The Wise Robin by Noel Barr, a Ladybird classic from the 50s I think. I can't find a date just a series number. Series 497 which includes other titles such as The Discontented Pony, The Conceited Lamb, Beaky the Greedy Duck, Ned the Lonely Donkey and Tiptoes the Mischievous Kitten...you get the idea about the type of book we're dealing with here.
My version of the tale goes like this. In his attempt to display courage and please his wife Mr Robin ends up in the sticky predicament of being caught indoors on Christmas Eve. He hides in the Christmas tree and in order to disguise himself from the family Mr Robin, whose name happens to be Bob, pretends to be something that he's not... in this instance, a Christmas ornament. He believes that if they see what he truly is, he will be trapped " kept there as a toy robin...with the staring doll and the dreadful horse". In the end the "wisest thing he could do was to show all these people that he was a real, live robin, not a ..toy", and so he " stopped trembling and with fluttering wings he sprang to the topmost branch of the tree. There he threw back his head, opened his little beak and sang and sang at the top of his voice. His throat quivered, and his breast glowed as red as the holly berries decorating the room". The tale ends with the family setting him free and his wife getting the tinsel she wanted for her nest .
I'm a big believer in the idea that everyone finds their own meaning in the subtleties of life. The subtlety that hit me late that night is really the universal notion that if you are your authentic self, if you follow your heart, as scary as that might seem at times, you'll eventually land right way up, much like a falling cat. I realised that I didn't really know what parts of me were authentic and which parts were created to fit in, please and gain approval. So I decided that night that I wanted and needed to start listening to, getting to know and following my heart more. And this is where my heart first led me. A space where I could keep a visual tab on what my heart, the voice of my wise robin was telling me, as well as a space where I could maybe meet others on their journey, whether that journey be looking for something more too or just looking.
Important point number two...I'm a visual person, I speak through image. Words do not come easily whether that be verbal or written. I'm trying to be gentle with myself as I slowly find my own voice and rhythm within each of these posts.
A quick phone call to a friend for some 'About Me' page research left the words life-story hanging in the air. Details about my life. Ok...I am 32, a Winter baby and cancerian Mama (to one sweet gal) through and through. I grew up in the Southern Highlands of New South Wales on the edge of the Great Dividing Range, so we're talking misty, frosty, snowy winters, beautiful Autumns, Springs filled with tulips and mild Summers. No beaches, no rivers with swimming holes, just rolling English-like countryside with the accents to match, deep sandstone gorges, pockets of rain forest and plenty of space. I now live on the border of North East Victoria and the South West Slopes of New South Wales. Here we're talking blazing hot Summers, snow capped mountains in Winter, short but oh so beautiful Autumns and Springs, the mighty Murray River and again plenty of space. I've lived in many homes in this town from a third storey apartment to a one hundred acre farm right on the river. But right now, we are renting a very cosy 1940s style home on a hill. We can see the lights of town twinkle below us and we have the bush right behind us. For those who are interested...because maybe just somebody might just share my interest in floor coverings... the carpet is green. I'm grateful for our home but I've been wanting to rip that carpet up since the day we moved in.
With location taken care of lets move onto those numerous pieces of paper that I'm still embarrassed to admit I have. I have the paperwork for a nearly completed Bachelor of Arts/Science degree at Sydney Uni, the completed paperwork for A Bachelor of Visual Arts (Photography) and Bachelor Of Parks, Recreation and Heritage from Charles Sturt University ( I had dreams of being a park ranger). I am almost 2 credits away from finishing A Bachelor of Nursing so I can go on to become a midwife and I have a diploma or something or other in conservation land management (permaculture, organic farming, bush regeneration etc, etc, etc). Oh my. Lets move along quickly now people, no need to linger, nothing to see here.
I know for sure that my heart adores horses, lemon sorbet, Autumn colours, bespoke and handmade, the green soap dishes in my bathroom, fresh organic eggs, birds nests, the silver colour of weathered wood, creamy pasta dishes, a good brew of chai, the mandolin and banjo, books, books and more books, but I'm sure we've already touched on that, gentle summer breezes that cause sheer white curtains to rise and fall, 1920s, 30s and 40s fashion, brooches, French anything, old table linen, floorboards, laughing, tuning into the Earth and her seasons, walking in the bush, fresh sheets, snow, using my hands, empire waisted Jane Austen style get-up, dancing, firelight, living by the moon, cooking from the vegie garden, my daughters chook lullabies, letterpress, mountains, honeybees, music that has the ability to lift me up, make me cry, soothe my spirit and get me moving... I could go on.
Every day my heart reminds me that I want to learn the cello, make the right choices for my little one, speak better French, spin on my very own Sickinger spinning wheel, design or renovate my own home, learn printmaking, have a studio, live in a place where it snows for the better part of the year, have a white solstice, communicate through love not fear, live mindfully, listen to others, get more sleep, make a film, sing in a choir once again, horse ride for the rest of my days, make art, keep on learning, visit Scotland, get fit, follow my heart....
This space is for you as much as it is for me. I'd love to share in your stories and see what is going on in your part of the world.
Here's to the voice of everyone's Wise Robin.
